Made in Chelsea Part Four monday 13th June 12:45amG.M.T 2011

The only fun (although that might be an overstatement) Trash TV now is Made in Chelsea.:

Enjoyable enough however the people in it compare unfavourably with the Only Way is Essex lot. That judgement is made having put aside prejudice vs. rich poshos aside. They’re just so damn languid. They act like they haven’t had enough to eat and have low blood sugar, they are that non-energised, but i’m sure that they have. Perhaps this reflects privileges and or security this sever state of being laid back.

Considering how young they are they really don’t seem to have much fun or laugh out loud at anything.. Well, once at a dreadful “spatula” joke instead of “Batchelor” misspoken by a Girly..

The girls have dreadfully boring clothes. The guys are more flamboyant than the girls in dress. Well one pink shirt..
A few of the guys seem/appear to be gay but are not. Hugo is mildly interesting as is the hilarious Francis of Francis Boules Industries. (Diamonds)

Well i like Made in Chelsea however i’m a sucker for human interest. I suppose i should find them all reprehensible.

Not all of them appear to work. Francis does. Millie does but makes a very big deal of talking loudly on the mobile ‘to work’. Funda, Spencer’s girlfriend is some kind of really cool dancer. Ollie fiddles with some papers once on the roof if his flat.

Ollie is tumbleweed vs. the ears much like dear Joey Essex in Only Way. Ollie is extremely handsome but a bit like a thunderbird puppet in that he’s made of wood or plastic.

The Brunette women:
The brunette women all obey an unknown code of wearing beige. Oh my God do they wear beige. In fact they dress like maiden Aunts. All dreadfully expensive and or designer i’m sure but really girls, lighten up already!
Give me the Essex girls any day with their Xenia warrior princess look alike outfits fit for the blinging beautiful Amazonians of Essex
The Brunette women’s make-up:
Likewise all the brunette girls’ make up are similarly beige in colour. Like they all follow the same rule of foundation or the same make. That rule is more beige, on the face, no blush! I know they were probably told it was taupe. Old dowager outfits and deathly pale. They don’t even seem to get drunk except one girl who they frown disapprovingly at from another table.

Beautiful blond Caggie wears a trouser suit for a full on evening out on the H.M.S President. Not that it matters a fig what she wears since she is one of those hateful girls that looks like Venus or Aphrodite no matter if she’s in an old fleece. Don’t you just hate those women ladies?

You attempt to ascertain her sober interview type white suit, thinking maybe at least it’s white and Miami Vice style ironic. However no. Yet warm for standing on deck i would have to concede. But neither Miami Vice nor Saturday Night Fever nor anywhere near.

Last Episode Prologue:

Dying to find out, ok, not dying why Ollie broke up with Gabby and is it because he is really in love with his best friend Binky as i thought all along? Or is he going to be honest with himself and come out as gay on the grounds of not fancying women and being addicted to eyelash curlers?

Or maybe loving your own reflection and appearance as he does leaves no room for any other..

Plus, will the star-crossed lovers that misfortune has interfered with so cruelly (actually i haven’t a clue why they broke up) Caggie and Spencer ever get back together and stop mooning broken-heartedly over each other from a distance and make us all (well us romantics) happy by getting back together?

how Spencer treats Funda
Caggie & Spencer getting back together would have the effect of releasing the long suffering Funda from her misery, embarrassment as Spencer’s social faux-pas mount up and he mulishly ignores her at every social event he takes her to!

I sense a pattern here, Spencer talks the most absolute shyte to Funda’s direct and fair questions about his eye-fluttering and lip pouting behaviour whenever in the vicinity of fair milk maiden Caggie. Just like the carousing poly-relationship maestro Mark in the Only Way Is Essex. Mark reassured his current girlfriend that he had no feelings for the obvious love of his life, ex-girlfriend Lauren.

These guys Spencer and Mark:
a) can’t handle life without a trophy girlfriend or
b) are trying to make their ex-girlfriend jealous
or both.

Francis Boules:
Will the slightly serial killer look alike baby faced Francis Boules ever get out of his diamond offices again? Will he be won over by his P.A beautiful Agnes,who obviously fancies him? Will Francis stop comparing, nay describing himself as Francis Of Assisi in the jungle of the business world? That’s when he’s not calling himself the General of said business world. Is he quite mad?

Or, and shocking thought this, could Francis actually have, gulp, a sense of humour? Does he know Mussolini was called the General?

Is Francis really 12 years old as he appears to be and his legs are really dangling off the ground in short trousers under the desk?..

Answers to these questions and many others have been found, so much has happened since then..

s’pose should do a cast list and a story so far

to be continued