Spotless Series One. A Netflix Original. A French English joint production of a British Crime Thriller. Some notes and dialogue on episodes: One, Two, Three Four and Five with Review at the end. In English. Minor spoilers Only.

saturday, 23 july 2016

Netflix description of Spotless:

“The law abiding owner of a crime scene cleaning service is forced into business with a powerful mob boss thanks to his irresponsible older brother.
Five stars (just about) One Season/ series. 2015.

A Netflix original series-Canal + Productions. In French I presume.

More information:
First episode Description:
“He’s a professional at cleaning up the crimes of others. His own life is getting dirtier by the minute.”


Series One.
Episodes One, Two, Three and Four.
Some notes and dialogue on first watching.

Nb. I only noted down the seperate episode numbers of episodes One and Five when writing the notes.

The Episode notes were done in the chronological order of watching the episodes.
(gulls squawking)

A young boy walks home. In the country.

Oh my goodness. That was a bit of a surprise.

So it’s all a a bit Sopranos. As we are assuming that Sopranos series feeling.

Psychiatrist/ Psychologist to the man:
“Have you seen any dead people today?”

So we meet the clean up guy.

Psychiatrist/ Psychologist:
“So why do you fuck the mistress?!”
Are psychologists supposed to talk like this?!

So it becomes apparent the guy with the Psychologist is not the mob guy but is the crime scene clean up guy (Jean).

So there is some dark bits in this episode as well as mildly comic.

The clean up scene guy’s brother (Martin) to him:
“You mean you ain’t C.S.I, laser beams?”
“No, bleach, mops and shit.”

Oh yes. and you definitely want to have had your dinner before watching. The crimes scene cleaning scenes that is. Whilst all the time jolly singing in French.

I forgot to mention that the speaking is all in English with a slight accent. For me anyway. Since Martin says English isn’t his first language.

OK. I’m with it now. Spotless is set in London.

Urgh. Urmm.
“Yes, brain matter..”
” It’s terrible to get off..”
“Dries just like Plaster of Paris!”

So Spotless doesn’t really lend itself to notes. Or dialogue.

I have wondered if Spotless is a comedy sometimes.

However there is dark undercurrents.

Martin to Jean:
“Don’t worry, they’re not gonna kill you..
“They think you’re the crime scene Picasso.”

Things have got really rather interesting already.

Martin is the name of the irresponsible older brother as in the TV description.

I only realised Spotless was in English halfway through episode one. I swear.

Gordon Crane to Jean:
“It’s Silver Tip White China tea..”
“You don’t need milk!”

Loving the scene at the allotment.

Ha ha. I knew that was going to happen. With Martin.

Better go before I give too much away.

The brothers are charming and excellent characters.

There definitely are funny bits. And there are some very harsh.

Ha ha.
Martin to the headteacher:
“She lost her family..”
“Her home..”
“Her cat..”

There are some dark undercurrents of another story.

There are some very questionable accents, did I mention.

The brothers make the drama.

Both set of baddies and their two henchmen are funny.

So things just got a whole lot more serious.

That happens a lot in Spotless.

My First Review.
So I can only watch one episode of Spotless at a time. And there are times when I am definitely gazing away, at the wall.

La La La La La. I’m not looking. This is the visual equivalent of putting your fingers in your ears and singing the above. Most of the time I’m too late with this manoeuvre.

But some bits-I have predicted the happening correctly. In enough time. To look less than manfully I suppose away.

What happened to my usual baseball hat move-I do not know. I must have been in shock.

Still, some sights of course arrive too late. For avoidance. They’re already in your vision. And don’t the film-makers know it. They literally push the slushy sludge, of puddled blood, by mop. Towards us. Really. From backstage almost-towards the front of the screen. In close-up.

Phew. I knew there was a word for this technique. Or two. I can stop describing it now..Thank goodness.

Because it’s all a bit too real. Isn’t it. London is even realistic. For once. Although the outside scenery filming felt a bit flat somehow. For me.

More could have been made of the city and East London filmically I thought. No matter. Because the scenery is irrelevant really to the story.

Between you and me I am secretly hoping that Spotless will end soon. Thinking about watching tonight and the last night) (before watching I mean) started to feel like a bit of a chore. Not because Spotless is bad. Because it’s too good.

Thing is, I feel kind of duty bound, to keep watching it. I mean I’ve come this far. Even though I’m more in the mood for Continuum. (new series)

But I started Spotless and I’m not ditching (which I’m not in spite of considering it) then I have to continuously watch the series. I have decided.

Because I figure once you’re out of the zone so to speak-it’s harder to cruise back into the drama and on wards.

I don’t think I cant take another re-entry by slow build up into this darkly disturbing tale. Set within often surreal and real: horror. Along with real tenderness. In some scenes.

Plus they play non-specific except for genre: music at the most unexpected times..
Episode Five.
Some notes on first watching.

Episode five starts as if it was the beginning of the whole series.

Oh no. I knew that here was a good reason I can’t write any more episode notes. Because it’s now too spoilery. Plus I have to eat my dinner. Real quick. Before the gore.

Yup. Looking at the wall again.

End of episode notes.

My Final Review of Episodes One, Two, Three, Four and Five.

Yes. I both dread and urge the end forwards. Just because Spotless is so good. So intensely good. Whilst thankfully silly at times.

Trouble is: the brothers are so good. As a pair: and as actors. Whilst Jean is a quiet study: enigmatic and possessing an ordinary every man air. A useful innocence in his appearance. Yet we are realising just how clever is is.

Jean’s brother, Martin is a spell-binding performance I feel. For his character.

So we have the brothers and the baddies. The family. And some other secondary characters. Which seems wrong as a description since they play an almost equal part in the drama. Just on the side-lines. Dramatically speaking.

We just know everything and possibly everyone described: is going to finally and irrevocably meet in some dreadful dramatic showdown. There could be carnage. There could be losses. Or not.

Our hero and his irrepressibly ebullient magical almost brother: might well vanquish all in their way. Save the day.

Our sweet, oft silent hero is looking like cogs are cogitating in his brain lately. Could he become the new Kingpin? Will all the really likeable characters we like so much survive?

There are only three ways this can go I am thinking and only one of them ends up happy.

It has to be said that Spotless is not for the squeamish or the faint-hearted.

Mind you, I may be squeamish but not apparently faint hearted. I made it through. To the end.

Spotless pushes the envelope. Maybe even breaks some taboos. In its treatment and depiction of death. In a drama.

So you think you’ve seen it all: C.S.I’s/ Crime Scene Investigations, Murder Mysteries, Silent Witness. Just as a few examples. We’re all inured to the gore. We think we’ve seen it all. In close-up.

But wait. You haven’t seen Spotless..


“Top pick for you!” Netflix told or rather wrote to me- they were right!


I think Spotless was also set in South London ( I first described the location as East) Near London Bridge railway Station. Under the arches..


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