Line Of Duty Series 2-First Episode-some spoilers-BBC2 or Channel number 102 on Virgin TV-Wednesdays @ 9pm

Line of Duty Series 2

So: terribly bereft of the sizzling presence of Lennie James and his accompanying ever ludicrous plots, Line of Duty 2 is like some straggling bug eyed, room full of strangers you never noticed the night before.  After an all night party when even the cool kitchen dwellers have gone home.

We will draw a sad and secret cloak of quiet over just how Lennie is no longer.  Suffice it to say he was having a really, really, bad day.

I ask myself why?, why did I watch it when I know what such deep and meaningful Police Dramas are like on BBC.  Excepting of course, the fabulous What Remains, a star burning brightly and alone.  Yes, I know these dramas are mind numbingly boring and bland,  Yet full of replete self satisfaction at their very artiness and depth.  Or so they believe.

As I sat through the bone crunchingly over long drawn out dull moments supposedly imbued with significance I wondered just how I had achieved such pinnacles of patience through this marathon of dull.  It must be because I was dog-tired and just couldn’t be arsed to move.

Yes, it was existential anguish extreme.  If this is a series of Zen moments or even just one, I was suffering from over extended elongation of fixed and motionless scenes.  As people stared into the distance in cars and the silence dragged on.  And on and on.

I suppose I was ensnared by some brief flurry of action in the opening scenes.  Whilst Detective Denton had a bit of a bad night.  To put it mildly.  But then, oh then.  Things just plateaued out to dull again as Denton swanned around looking only mildly mopy in a whiplash collar.

Then, shocking as it is, I am almost metaphorically relieved when half the Police Station knocks politely on the toilet door.  Inside which Detective Denton is having a little weep.  & Then they all burst in and shove her head repeatedly down the loo!  With her own Police Chief looking on!  It was all ludicrous and like something out of Peep Show all at once.

Strangely, then Detective Denton goes all rogue and evil on a downstairs neighbour playing banging music all night.  The lady, all tousled blond hair and off her head is weirdly whacked with a bottle then banged by the head over and over on the ground by Detective Denton.  Guess she really lost it. Or is Detective Denton really evil?  We are meant to wonder.

Weirder wackier stuff ensues involving a nurse in a wig who turns out to be a mad, murdering man in the middle of injecting something into the badly injured mysterious witness protection victim in hospital.  Who knew they had Witness Protection in Britain?  News to me.

Anyway, no sooner had stereotypical oh so familiar story of new and beautiful hard drinking, mysterious and feisty ace pool playing addition to the Internal Affairs team who just snogged and likely shagged morose faced colleague: when she is being thrown out of a window backwards by said previously mentioned mad murderer wigged up as a nurse.

You see Detective Denton, has made what she as a Policewoman should have known was not a secret phone call from a phone box to the hospital to check on the woman she beat up.  (we presume)

So on this basis, the equally moody and suspicious Internal Affairs lady who has offered to be Detective Denton’s Personal Assistant out of the blue: is following Denton and now decides this phone call is proof of Denton’s involvement in the whole shebang.

Following me so far?  Actually writing about Line Of Duty 2 is fast turning into an equal bore than was the watching of it.

I will just relate then how Detective Denton, having supposedly suspiciously, thrown off her whiplash neck-brace as soon as she is out of the Police station on an “errand” then returns, with interesting starey and increasingly evil eyes.

Detective Denton stares with these eyes, through the blinds in her glass box office.  To which she has been banished, transferred, unwillingly, to a new Unit by her boss.  (who Detective Denton doesn’t realise was standing behind the men in the loo, dispassionately looking on)

Well Detective Denton went to this new unit, but it wasn’t very far, just a glass box inside the office.  Then she stares some more at her moody follower.  And closes the blinds.  Ah, the old closing the blinds in the Police station trick.

Detective Denton is, admittedly, looking slightly more animated than dead.  As in the dead man walking she has done throughout, supposedly signifying her post traumatic grief at the opening scene.

Detective Denton stares some more…oops, I forgot the blinds were closed.
That’s it, really.

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