Wentworth Prison-Series One-Episode 5-warning-spoilers present-On in the UK Channel 5 #105 on Virgin TV


voice over:

“nudity, sexual activity & complex themes”

Rather corny/ tiresome lesbian dream for Erica.  (sigh).

Man in suit & Erica.
Man in suit:
“We needs someone the public can respond to in a positive way”..
“The Peer worker?”

“She’s not a peer worker any more”.

Liz is on tidying plant duty.
“That’s not nice, is it?”
  Prison Officer:
“it could be worse, it could be poo..”
What is it then?!

Then Liz for some reason puts a white tea-towel over her head. Then unearths a giant bottle of lemon Smirnoff look-alike from inside the cleaning equipment.

Erica calls in Doreen and offers her the job of Peer Worker.  Doreen refuses the job because of her loyalty to Liz.
“But Liz let you down, she let everybody down..”

Jacs to Frankie:
“If that’s the best you can do, you’re falling down on yourself Francesca…”

Soldier Prison Officer & Will Jackson.
Soldier officer:
“Get a grip Will, what would Megan think?”

So then Will punches some wooden pallets.  As men do sometimes when really cross/ drunk.

Erica & Franky.
“You need to chose your option for your career..”
“I will if you tutor me!”
Grinning like a Belicia Beacon!
man in suit:
“Why is Frankie refusing?”
“She can’t be allowed to be in charge!”

man in suit:
“Do whatever it takes!” (Oo err)

Liz & Doreen.
Fight the interminable fight of a couple locked in the eternal battle of booze.

Liz says something unforgivable to Doreen.

Erica & Frankie.
(door creaks quietly)

“Attention Compound, count in 10…”

Liz sits on the floor drinking
“What are you doing down there?”

Franky & Erica talk in tiresome double entendres.
“We’re here to choose your career”
“I had sex with guys for years but there was always something missing..”
“then, I F-d a woman now I won’t do anything without exploring every possibility!”

Flashaback to Erica’s earlier life:
Wanting to F with the curtains open.

So she jumps Mark her fiancée.  Bites him.
“Pull my hair!”
“I don’t want to F like a married coup;e!”

Mark-really hunky fiancée:
“Are you bored with me sometimes?”
“Sex, it doesn’t have to be so God damned Nice!”
“not nice!  aaarrgh!”

Happy flashbacks-Erica & Mark.
“Do you wanna get marrid right now?”
“I love you I love you I love you…”

Will Jackson:
“You allright?”

Liz collapses.
“Liz, can you hear me?”

Frtankie & Jacs face up.
Jacs: What’s the matter?”
“One man down?”
“You know better than to mess with one of MY family”.

“I put bleach in it!”
“it wasn’t Jacs”
You keep your mouth shut,
“if we start attacking & turning on each other,”
“we have nothing”..

Uhoh.  Apple laptop placement.
Erica sees Frankie making out.

Franky & her girlfriend:
“I got a secret, I keep it deep inside me”
“I’m feeling funky”
“kind of dirty and it’s over you…”

Erica’s flashback.
(when she was a Lawyer)
Erica meets a client in a bondage club.
Him (owner):
“I insist!”
“Everyone has the right to representation..”
Club owner:
Talks like Sean Connery.
“See anything you like?”
“I could show you around…”

More red lit rooms.
(laughter moans & sighs)

Erica peeps through the curtain.
The bondage girl holds out her hand…
Erica hesitates and runs.

(gasps)  Back to present day.  Erica is getting um, excited watching Frankie on her laptop CCTV.

Door opens-man in suit:
“is this a good time?”!

Bea & Doreen.
“The Peer worker is meant to look out for the women,”

Doreen & Liz.
“What are we watching?”
“I’m so sorry”
“You don’t ever, ever play the black card with me Liz”..

Bea& Liz.
“I was 18 when I was pregnant”..
“It’s just sex you know.”

Mark & Erica.
(Door closes)
“When have I ever mistreated you Erica?”
“I’ve only ever treated you with respect,”
“If you want that, then you are”
“with the wrong guy”..
he continues:

“We have been engaged for 5 years and then we,”
” keep pushing it back & back..”
“So maybe it’s never going to happen”
“I’m not going to change”
“If you’re not happy with that,
“you need to tell me”
“and I walk away…”

“I love you and want to be your wife.”


“I’m awake”
“I’m not spared”
“Fire in between”
“No-one knows why we’re here..”
“Embrace the dark, its all..”
“about the inner search”…
“I’m going out..”
( i wish you would maybe you would stop singing then)

(bongo drums appear out of nowhere)

another dumb song.

“I awake to this day”
“I’ve fallen down and gotten up”
“Till I wont settle down and watch”
“either way I’m going down..”
(yes-we get it)

“tell me what you want me to do?”
“Just love me..”

end of excerpts

Well nudity, sexual activity and complex themes.  We were warned by the voice-over.

Precious little nudity really, a fair bit of inferred and minor bits of sexual activity.  All tastefully shadowed in

the increasingly annoying lurid washed technicolour bleached out blue.

Intermittently mixed with a kind of bilious green in murky dark.  Which pervades Erica &Mark’s flat for some reason.
(perhaps this is the colour of officially expensive light to match the flat)

I would draw the line at complex themes however.  Because complex a lot of it was not.

I was already wary of the possibility that a woman’s prison drama might well be seen  as containing some
prerequisite hot chick on chick action!  sigh.
There are some who will tune in with that very hope in mind.

Way to go to diminish the seriousness of the show and nicely utilise a whole captive crowd of women huh.

This was like a bad Lovers Guide To video.  Yes, the Lovers Guide to lesbian yearnings and masturbation whilst in clink.  Because women are just so much more photogenic than men.

Can we imagine a similar episode on this subject if the prison was full of men?  I think not.

Yes, because women can just think of nothing else.  Pretty much all day long.  All Erica dreams about is hot pink memories of bondage clubs and beautiful Mistresses, beckoning.

& Whilst carrying out her job as the Governor of the whole Prison, Erica spends her time perve-ing on Franky and her girlfriend on the CCTV and playing with herself under the table!

& Will Jackson is engineered into a stereotypical angry man punch of a pallet, being such a brutish creature of course and inherently unable to express himself otherwise.  Just by being a big angry man.  Purely so he can be presented with his shirt off and cause Bea to slightly swoon over him.

Gee, I really think we could have figured out the sexual goings on in a prison without the paint-by-numbers picture guide.  D’Ya think.

Then the women are shown bantering/ calling out to Mr.  Jackson,. his chest no out of sight is subject to their leering.  I really think he is supposed to be being sexually objectified.

It was all ridiculous, tiresome,irksome & embarrassing.

Embarrassing for the drama itself which for me, should have skated above this rather than spell it, unnecessarily out.  it would have made for a weightier, hard hitting drama.  No pun intended.

Now Wentworth Prison is wavering and floating in a no-mans land (ha ha) of 1/2 way lurid cheap thrills and misery.
In fact made for Channel 5 TV.

We will now wonder what on earth is up with Erica.  Why did she leave her job as a Lawyer.  Not for being caught pleasuring herself at work hopefully. & why in hell not release her poor benighted fiancée with his reasonably asked for, honesty?

So, rather leadenly, the point is hammered home.  Erica belongs in the prison.  She is drawn to it possibly.
because Erica is damaged too.  She gets off on the whole captivity perhaps.  A minor form of bondage.  & Erica is secretly gay.

Didn’t think that was such a big deal in Australia, circa present day.  Or is it present day?  Now I’m not sure.  It might be meant to be timeless.  We really cannot tell for sure.

Cue some dark unpleasant family history connected to Erica’s Dad.  Hopefully having suffered through this mostly ludicrous episode, they will consider the subject to be dealt with.  & Our enforced teaching moments period to be over.

Or Maybe not.

Ludicrous too was nobody noticing at all Liz continually swigging the visual equivalent of Smirnoff lemon from a giant pop bottle.  All day long.

& Doreen takes her revenge in a truly horrific way.  Obviously never having read The Inspector Calls or heard any suicide by bleach stories of Third world brides.

This episode could have been entitled with that American phrase: Too much Information.

The serious misery and awful alter-ego of Liz when drunk sat uneasily with the sketchily drawn supposedly sexy underbelly.  The only light relief being the Sean Connery doppelgänger voice of the eponymous Club Owner.  Who most likely would have had a well lit office just right for signing papers.  For a professional lawyer such as Erica.

But then there would have been no drama, no superficial frisson of excitement, for officially conflicted Erica.

Erica, who cannot even, barely, do her job, for thoughts of Frankie.  & who we are meant to believe, as a Governor and apparently trained Teacher, would engage in clanging double entendres and blush, flirtingly over piles of textbooks in an open classroom.

Sigh.  (not that kind of sigh)
Nothing like shoe-horning in some hot lesbian action.  Double up the audience.

Guess the Prison gets to everyone.  or maybe it attracts some equally conflicted/ damaged/ people to work there as well as the prisoners.  perhaps they need or feed off, each other.  I feel a teaching moment coming on.

Just another day in paradise.  Prison Paradise.  Heaven & hell if you like.  Except who you think should be living in heaven is really living in hell.  & vice versa.

Since some of the prisoners ostensibly living in hell are in some kind of cosy heaven.

Me I was mostly disappointed as I was hoping for the story of Jacs.  Now I think it maybe Doreen next time.  If we are going to endure variable, lurid and lame flashbacks of all the staff as well, we are going to be here for a while.