Top of The Lake episode 5-some spoilers-on in the UK BBC2 Saturdays @ 9:10pm

Top of The Lake Episode 5

Rough transcript of the episode

Young Boy to Robin:
“You don’t know anything!”

Detective Al, the boy and the mimed cup of tea making!
“You forgot to turn the tap off”!
Slaps the boy every time he gets it wrong!


Detective Al to Detective Robin:
“Don’t you ever contradict your superiors again!”
“Do what you like-I’ve got a hair appointment!
(Yes,you need that)

I’m no expert but pretty sure slapping yourself then banging your head against the cupboard is a sign of either deep distress or abuse.

I liked the Maori greeting.  Unless it was a special greeting for mourning and death.

Shane & Shane:one of the Shanes i felt was a better choice for Robin.

Suddenly Robin has a dress on all pretty and is cooking-she sees a guy through the window-then he shoots her!  Robin takes this remarkably calmly-not even mentioning it until after the risotto.

Tui appears at the young girl at the women’s camp (who is) playing her guitar, electric, trailing the red pink cable behind her.

Detective Al & Detective Robin:
Detective Al:
“Have you ever tried an older man?”!
“more experienced..”

Al has had his hair done, its a kind of crossover.  it looks no shorter.

The teenagers come to the Island.
teenager to the boy:
“Who did it?” (made Tui pregnant)
“The dark creator”
“The person who sucks the heat out of people,the serpent.”
he continues
“You know who it is”.

The motorcycle guys look like the Hells Angels.  They are the hunters.

Detective Al and Matt on the phone:
“The Detective problem is about to go away”..

Matt Mullan to the hunters:
“Don’t swear, don’t fight, don’t scare the kid”
 “if you hurt her, harm her, in any way”
he continues
“you don’t come down from the mountain”.
“My Mother’s cup…my precious..”
smashes it-wanders off..
(do think he has something wrong with him)

The boy and Tui
He whimpers as if in labour, mutedly.
Tui laughs.
He loves her.
“I don’t even know how it got in there”.

The boat trip:
Uh oh-I have a really bad feeling about this boat trip.

Now Al has had his haircut. & a side-parting & is showing off like a million dollar playboy.  Al actually thinks Robin might fancy him.

The motorcyclist who won’t get off his bike going up the hill!
Robin & Jonno go up the hill.
“No bike now”

Kerblamm. Tui is firing at the gang of Hunters she is a pretty mean shot and really knows her way around a gun.


So yes, just as i was getting comfortable and all high and mighty about Top of The Lake it socks it to me.  A sucker punch as Americans say.

&Top of The Lake suddenly got really very damn serious.  For the first time it became truly realistic for a moment.

 I see now that everything before was realistic too.  However that feeling of realism, for me, had not yet come fully through.  perhaps its all been too real, as in caricature real and i have renounced that in some perceptual way.

Top of The Lake is still somewhat annoying somehow but i think the scenery is starting to suck me in.  & I’m falling a little in love.

Perhaps that really is the pace of things, in small towns, deliberately reflected back at us by the director leading to the gloopy, slightly impatient feel to the experience of watching Top Of The Lake.  (for me anyway)

What i wanted to know was:what the hell happened to the teenagers?  was that them hiding under something, en masse at the end?

My eyes were refusing to concentrate by that point having been spiritually singed and burned from the scenes before.

And wtf was that (in the boat scene) with Matt Mullan and Man from Uncle meets Maxwell Smart meets not a Kiwi King Pin or antipodean Al Pacino otherwise known as Detective Al?!  If it hadn’t been so horrific a scene it would have been truly funny.  Again: humour is haunted by horror.

Liked it? Take a second to support Clarissima on Patreon!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *