New! My review of Revolution

Review of Revolution

So i may have seen the first episode, i think so,it all happned so quickly it could have been an introduction to a later episode.  As a quick this is what happened last week and or in the (very) beginning regular explanation.  Like they had in the 70’s.

We see a worried looking computery looking man coming home really agitated and putting things in bags:
  “Everything is going to turn off”! he tells everyone who will listen which isn’t anyone.  His brother, chatting and driving, his big bug-eyed wife at home who says to him:
“Its happening, isn’t it?”

& hey presto it happens in the barely blink of an eyelid, everything goes off and stays off.  All those blase replies to the hero’s warnings to all his loved ones were suddenly shown to be true as young teenager in car next to happily blase’ brother of our bespectacled hero.  Well his i-pod goes blank.  In the whole row of cars all their headlights go off, engines too.  Seems odd.

 Everyone gets out of their car and stands and stares.  As they always do in movies old and new.  They look up to the sky as an unidentified flying object, multi-coloured lights blinking, shatters in space & crashes explosively to the ground.  Flames flare up brightly yellow and crackling.
 (it turned out to be a plane)

An annoying voice-over, possibly that of the hero scientist type who knew and warned his family, (this voice over) explains to us exactly what didn’t work any more in case we don’t get it.  In a world without electricity.

I have to admit i was confused:
“gas turbine engines” the voice droned on..i was still trying to figure out why car head-lamps didn’t work.
Anyway, suffice it to say none of it works and we see a flashback to a beautiful young little girl and her Mum& Dad.  When the lights first go off.

 Fast forward to an unspecified time in the future since that girl we presume now to be a teenager up to twenties.  Irs always hard to tell in American things.  So she’s all grown up and cool now has fairly fabulous designer type gear, artfully distressed boots, the requisite leather jacket, designer deshabille.’

Everyone looks well fed and happy.  Bespectacled scientist type guy Ted is walking down the street:
“Hi Ted”! we ear wherever he goes.

There are plants a good 6-8 feet high people walk up and down rows of them as if they were meant to be peasant farmers.  Which they are.  What on earth they are meant to be growing other than maize or corn on giant sunflower type stalks.

Its around 10 years or so later in time.  Going on the grown up girl’s progress and that she and her brother don’t know what computers or asthma inhalers are.

So there’s an evil militia in revolution who seem to be in charge. levy taxes and all have the M for militias name branded on their arms.

& Everyone seems to still have toothpaste, shampoo, Oh i dunno, hot showers on tap.  Really everyone looks normal and pretty unbothered by the whole apocalypse 15 years ago thing.  Now with no electricity at all.  We hear only that:
“people or was that a lot of people died” when it first happened.  Presumably , by her absence now compared to her flashbacks young heroine’s parents or her mother.

Then her Dad unfortunately gets deaded.  Shot accidentally by his own son, Danny, i think.  Anyway they’re related.  Danny is taken away by the sneering and violent militia men from whom he cleverly escapes by unscrewing a screw and using it to wreak havoc by breaking his bonds and escaping.

With heroine girl is an annoyingly over-accented bright blond curly haired older woman who is her dead Dad’s girlfriend or her Stepmother.  Now shining blond haired lady never cracks a smile which is more realistic than most people’s expressions.  Well she insists on coming with heroine on her quest to find her dead Dad’s brother.  Only he can save them.  This is what dullard now dead Dad has spluttered before expiring.

So off on a quest they go, heroine & bright blonde and curly haired over English accented Step-Mum and Google man.(Google man is the old friend of heroine girl’s dead Dad who used to work for Google)

So that’s it really. Off they go to search for the fearsomely described uncle.  Who is of course louchely lounging in his own bar concocting moonshine.  & he can fight off whole crowds of men with just his sword and some super duper moves.  Its all a bit Dogtanian but without the drama.  As in dull.

All this was in one episode.  Not sure i will make it to the second,

Nb. The missing uncle is terribly handsome. As are all the rest of the men come to think of it.  There were moments when it rather pleasantly reminded me of the truly terrible Hercules.  Such was the universal and uniform beauty of all the actors and actresses.  In revolution they meet new people in equally startled Hercules style encounters.  Guess only really handsome/beautiful/sword fighting/martial arts masters and so on survived?

“Oh, hey hi Hercules, what a surprise meeting you in this sylvan green forest!  What are you doing here?”
“Oh, just going for a walk er, yonder, dude…”

Yes its hard for beautiful people, times are hard.  They only ever get perfume ads and catwalk shows, somebody’s beautiful girlfriend. Its not easy doing that stuff all the time, even if it might be for loads of money.  Beautiful people get tired of being typecast in acting. The evil boyfriend.  The good boyfriend. The good and wholesome wife/ worker.  The occasionally evil plotting woman.

But never a good Ole juicy shit kicken all action her role?  Not for the girls anyway.  So let beautiful people have a go at making tricky home made 45’s that attached to the wrist and fire from under the cuff.

Let the beautiful model looking girl get all geared up with knives, polishing them wrapping the handle, making them.
Nb.  Is she ex CIA or just really ultra woods with it?  Post the blackout days, is that what she did?
We don’t know, we don’t really care.  Because Revolution is so gloriously bad.

 Young and questionably aged heroine gets plenty of long shots as she marches, designer boots, engaged in moody slouching catwalk style.  Along the interminable terrain with ickily adoring because shucks, she’s family, uncle.  He of the handsome scowl, stubble and floppy black hair.

Everyone appears to have regular use of toothpaste, shampoo and make up.  Our heroine’s mother isn’t dead but being held by a faintly fascist styled old friend who wants information about the power!
du na du na

Oh yes and there’s a token ugly person, the ex-Google guy.  Well not really ugly, just not one of the beautiful people.  Its a shame that Revolution isn’t fun and interesting bad, its just bad.   It had some really good actors in it, the Mother in particular, OK maybe just the Mother. But even all the beautiful people can’t save Revolution.  The best thing about Revolution for me was realising that Revolution had the word evolution within it.  & that was the ads.

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