Broadchurch -on in the Uk Mondays @ 9pm ITV1: review up to the penultimate episode-warning some spoilers

First thoughts on watching:

Not having watched David Tennant before i am nonplussed at the kudos he gets. I mean what’s with the stare-y eyes and then
the shouting? i find myself wondering if he is hyperthyroid..
i know i should have been sympathetic to his woozy and melodramatic crash in the bathroom but felt curiously unmoved by
the scene, instead finding it faintly ridiculous:anyone else?

i have tried, really I’ve tried, but it just does not the English version of The Killing make. Well only in the last scene with the artsy cliffs and the cool/outré out-song.
However nobody can beat Luther’s left-field lyrics for opening and closing songs, can they? (“If i was a fly i would bite your eye” or some such nonsense!

Nb. Really, I mean really tired of the whole young boys=paedophile murderer possible storyline now.. Oh and don’t forget the computers and the deleted files, sigh..

Oh yes and when is there ever a Detective without a past tragedy? i could go on..
The only saving grace for me is the unusually good performance of Two Pints of Lager & a Packet Of Crisps , Will Mellor, doing really rather well as the oddish psychic..

The whole is the Reverend really rather odd (just because he can’t sleep and is prone to standing and staring at the beach side at inopportune moments) and shock horror, his church has a view of just everyone involved is just way too Morse/Lewis/Midsomer Murders and every other awful English murder mystery trope done to death already..

Oh and since when did Pauline Quirke get shrunk in the wash and become awful, melodramatic and just plain annoying? her supposedly hideous and sinister line:
“I know men who will rape you” was just ludicrously flat and embarrassing. It did not do what it said on the can..which was to be sinister and scary and i cannot believe the newspaper lady just took it without any remonstration or just didn’t hotfoot it to the Police?

Are we meant to be veering into witchy/surreal type territory now with the male hobbies of Broadchurch involving an jolly old bit of raping now and then? perhaps dressed up in some righteously wiccan type gear?!

Please no….

**
by the penultimate episode:
***
I would have to describe this series as seriously underwhelming. A little like in Homeland,wwhich i kept watching in spite of the ludicrous plot because i genuinely liked the main characters, so it is here.

Whilst David Tennant seems trapped forever in Doctor Who stare-y eyed mode that is when he isn’t collapsing most histrionically on the floor. Perhaps it is the elements of cold faced aliens that has caused me to see his face as solid, frozen and emotionless? There is really only his large, squirrel like big brown eyes to alight upon and search for any meaning or emotion therein.

Then there are Olivia Coleman’s huge, spaniel like eyes that seem to melt, shimmer and frost up at times with ever present emotion and pleadings for dear David “Not to hurt these town folk, they are my friends”!
Yet again..

Perish the thought of it, the scene in which Dear David is taken aside for an emotional ‘intervention’ into his old case (that old case always haunting you) by the two Journalists was embarrassing, nay cringe-worthy in the extreme! Gee, i hate to relate to you but even when Dear David finally cried (you know, and got ‘closure’) i still didn’t feel a thing.

I have been waiting in vain for Olivia finally get ’empowered’ and stop moping about so soppily and crying all the time and bringing her kids out for a day by the sea in the cafe when she’s on a murder case but it just hasn’t happened. Her suits got sharper and her face became paler so i was hoping all the time, preferably that Dear David wouldn’t get up from his latest Victorian fit of the vapours-oops “heart problems” brought on by the haunting old cold case i mean. But no and nope.

We are doomed to only get intervals of relief from the doleful pouting Dad and the Nan and the still going for a jog grieving Mum in their new-Build house by the sea that just doesn’t The Killing make. Pauline Quirke, having been caught up in the wash and rinsed of all evil still tries. Shoulders sunken with thankfully un-crossbowed doggie in tow she leaves town in true Western style. Since more than really rather odd son Nige has threatened to slit dear doggie’s throat. As you do…

So Nige is really rather odd and has a cupboard full of guns and a crossbow on top of the wardrobe. Not really the sorta guy perhaps to be haning out with your kiddies for Sunday lunch. Yet dear Dad, morose and hang-dog and still shagging merrily a day or so after his son’s murder is sulking because he promised wifey it was all over.

Now, suddenly, there is talk of farms, on which young boyfriend inexplicably lives and a whole new estate upon which there are pheasants to be had! Shootings at night, accidents anyone?

I had an Inspector Montalbano moment whilst watching Broadchurch where, wait for it, Olivia morphed unexpectedly into a minor version of Inspector Montalbano and i found myself wandering:if only she would get a bit more lively, all we need is a bit more sun, she could go back to her house, lounge on the sun and sea swept balcony, shout a lot, drink some wine, be interrupted in a fabulous dinner and whilst wearing a fabulous Sicilian ensemble of blue velvet jacket and jeans, solve the lot!

an odd thought occurred whilst boredom overwhelmed me whilst watching this which was:
does this seem cool, deep, meaningful. and breathtakingly suspenseful to any non-English speakers watching?
With subtitles, for ex, does it make it over in Scandinavia in the same way as The Killing seemed to us, ultra-cool and breath squeezingly scary?
i would be interested to know..

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