New! The Killing Remake returns:UK on Channel 4 Wednesdays @9pm G.MT My Review of first episode:minor spoilers rather than major: posted Saturday 5th May 2012

Gee, well that was cheerful, not.  Forgot just how damn dark it is in the Killing Remake. i mean really dark.  A lot of the time you just see Linden’s pale face and red lipstick in the gloom.

That red lipstick.  ugh.  Then there’s other faces appearing out of the black background. Belk, looking surprisingly well and really not that convincing as mad.  Stan looking seedier than i remember.  Mitch’s sister, she too whey faced and looking cold.  Apart from when they ate diner of a large cabbage square with a Polish name, Stan and the sister spent a lot of time in a pitch black basement.

(remember Mitch left to go find herself after mooning about a lot gazing at her scrapbook of dreams)

i think it was meant to be the work warehouse under Stan& Mitch’s flat.  Yep, nobody ever really turns any lights on and the rest of the time they are in a seemingly endless night.   Well Linden is.

i remember now how it was the politco’s lot from Richmond’s side who had the gift of light bestowed upon them.  Yes, they live in the land of the light.  Seemingly another existence perhaps above the ground.  The politicos are mostly blond and healthy looking and wear light coloured clothes.

Like Jamie and Gwen. Sitting for endless hours and several nights in the hospital.  Each stubbornly refusing to leave.  They were the real people who loved him.  Richmond’s family never turned up.  They were on “the East Coast”. Maybe flying it wasn’t clear. Their plane, if it was, seemed real slow.

Jamie and Gwen sitting together looked like brother and sister. Mousy blond both of them, they even had similar noses.  They were Richmond’s figurative children.  Even though Gwen had an affair with him  ok, his figurative family then. 

Poor Richmond, bad news, Gwen weeps, tells Jamie it is all he fault for telling the Police. Jamie doesn’t believe Richmond being wet, as she did, was proof of guilt.:
“It wasn’training that night” Gwen tells Jamie.:
“So that doesn’t mean anything” he replies loyally.

Of course not.  He could have been, um?  Gwen, are you sure it wasn’t raining in the Remake?  It rained all.the.time..

Elsewhere Linden is driving, driving, driving, with her thick slick greasy orange red lipstick on all the worse for having no lipliner.  If you’re going to go for full on Joan Crawford double bow coverage then expect some lip creepage with no liner.  tut.tut.

After a while my poor aesthetic part of the brain has blanked out the sight of Linden’s horribly mismatched colour lipstick out of pure self reflexive protection.  However she does pout, scowl, and occasionally smirk uncomfortably quite a bit.  The uncomfortable smirk is her mouth trying to smile.  it has forgotten how.

All this lip action combined with  a hard leaden stare does tend to draw attention to aforesaid log suffering lips.  it’s best just to focus on her piercing and variously squinting to studious (signifying i’m thinking) gaze.

Linden avoids Holder’s phone calls.
 (remember that she knows Holder produced a fake photo to incriminate Richmond but Holder doesn’t know she knows)

Linden figures out some guy who is a bit bald and is a ? Policeman is a person of interest.  That must be it, she saw him at Holder’s drug free speech at Narcotics anonyous? i dunno.

Anyway, after seeing his photo in the Sheriff’s police station which she seems to treat as a different place to the Police. ( Cue lot’s of shady encounters where she is fobbed off on her mission to verify that the camera on that bridge wasn’t working that night and told to go away by big burly nasty Policemen)

Linden follows the bald possible Policeman.  Yes, Linden gets her Journalist mate to phone him up and spook him. (tells him she knows about the photo) He deletes his hard drive. 

Linden hides Jack a lot.  First from her Police chief who was inexplicably looking after him.  Then from Holder. And keeps him from his Dad.  Which would have seemed more sensible. 

“You’re my son she tells him, I’ve had you for eight years and I’m not letting you go.  I love you”.  Ah.  Jack is getting used to Motel rooms, no chips and dinner out of a vending machine.

That’s about it except Belko goes postal in the Police stion.  Why do they always have guns, Police?

The sister is heard pathetically pleading with someone on the phone presumably her boyfriend.  Who hasn’t paid the rent.  Stan overhears and asks her to stay.

Linden follows bald Policeman to a junkyard wher he meets Arbani, the Mayor’s aide.  Linden looks.  But someone is photographing her!  We see the lens framing her face and hear the click click!

i always wonder why nobody ever being watched notices a person in a car sitting a little way way from them?  i mean what is the person in the car meant to be doing?  Especially when they have big camera!

So that’s it, quite good, quite glossy, quite fast. i would say that it has improved by being further away, in terms of comparison to the original, Forbrydelsen.

Holder of course, stealing every scene again.  Wearing pale grey tracksuits to work.  Never did take on the suit advice except fot that one retro suit.  His hair is slicked flat with a teenagerish colwlick at the front.

Holder is given enlarged photos of Rosie’s unseen friend on her bike ride.  The bikemirror shows and enlarged cartoon/Managa like tattoo. 

“Hardly Richmond’s style” say Ray, the Lab photo guy.

But Holder puts it in a box marked Closed…

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