transcripts of my comments on Vicky Frost’s Guardian Blog on The Killing Remake Channel 4 Thursdays @9pm:Episode 11&12

  • 21 September 2011 12:43AM

    The Bette Davis Raspberry award:for worst Sexist & Ageist stereotype of a woman since the 40’s
    for Belko’s mother.

    Most asinine assumed aetiology for madness award:
    for the bonkerness of Belko.
    Not Mom “dropping his cat in the dumpster when he was little”..

    Award for deviations from the standard norm who have suitably repented:
    1st prize:Holder:giant cross tatoo and blathering about God&oneness
    2nd prize:Richmond:philandering ways “unhealthy but stopped now”
    3rd prize:Linden who let the Father into her son’s life, becoming normal

    Brave Rebel against Psychobabble award:
    1st prize Stan:
    psychologist “How did it make you feel?”(beating Bennet to a pulp)
    Stan:”I didn’t feel anything!”

    Simone de Beauvoir Raspberry Award for worst Sexist Stereotype:
    1st prize Linden:
    Hysterics.Shouty.More hysterics.Remembers to apply Lipstick@ all times

    2nd prize Gwen:
    Lovelorn over Richmond:
    “I’ll come back& join the rally, hey, I’m good for something, right?”

    Sexist Remark Award:
    1st Prize:Holder to Linden when she raises her voice outside the casino
    “Gee, is there 1 or 2 days a month that you’re NOT P.M.S-ing?”

    Psychobabble Award:
    1st prize Gwen
    to Richmond’s ex-lover:
    “his former indiscretions aren’t relevant to where he is now”
    2nd prize Regi
    pretty much anything that comes out of her mouth

    special mention for psychobabble under stress:
    Linden when looking for her missing son on phone to other Mother:
    “Your son is making bad decisions…i appreciate your candour”!
    to Holder:”We make choices to fix our bad decisions”..

    Meaningless spiritual crap talk award
    1st prize Holder:
    “Perception is circumstantial” “Wisdom is all around”
    “I see the grey, not the black and white”

    Honest Admission Award:
    1st prize Holder:
    “To tell you the truth I love that Meth, I love that Lady..”

    Blaxpoitation award circa 1970-2011
    1st Prize Holder:
    “Homey” “Brother” Girlfriend” “Chief” Yo” “Your white ass” “Dawg”
    Not even Shaft, Huggy Bear or the guys from The Wire talked like this.
    “It ain’t no thing!” Holder, you’re not the Isley Brothers..(It’s a song)

    Guilt trip city emotional blackmailing award (to Linden)
    Regi & Rick Joint 1st prize
    with special mention to regular inclusion of a past breakdown..

    Most look-alike Herman Munster award
    Mitch

    Person most bright, bouncy & breezy, post-murder of a close relative:
    Terry

    The Hallmark Moment speech award
    1st prize Richmond:
    “My wife was the daughter of a bus-driver, she showed me things i had never seen, the beauty of a vegetable patch, the horror of a homeless shelter, if i become Mayor, it will be because of her, she will be with me”

    Hallmark moment award
    1st prize Stan
    Slo-mo scene with little girl on pink bike where he helps her with helmet
    2nd prize
    Mitch & her Dad with photo album& her childhood dreams scrapbook..

    statement of the bleeding obvious award:
    Linden “She was cold, alone, he hunted her”…

    Most un-politically correct language award
    1st prize Belko
    “hey Osama!”

    with a mention to questionably un-politically correct?
    Linden (about the Native American Indians in the casino)
    “She and her pit bulls are circling the wagons”..

    Past trauma & suffering award:
    conferring holier than thou status & allowing partaking of various vices
    (as long as repentance is complete)
    1st prize Holder
    traumatic childhood allowing for meth addiction, stealing treasured gold coin from nephew, money from sister: now preaching on fatherhood, good mothering & describing Linden’s ex as a “deadbeat”

    2nd prize Richmond
    untimely death of his wife allowing for philandering and drinking
    Mitch
    murder of her daughter allows for one fag/cigarette..

    Most overuse of Dark as Evil award:
    The Killing Remake (ever heard of daylight horror?)

    French Farce award:
    but with no French nor humour:(well some unintentional)
    The Killing Remake

    Sensing Murder award:
    1st Prize Linden
    for her psychic staring in Discovery woods..

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