transcripts of my comments on Vicky Frost’s Guardian Blog on The Killing Remake Channel 4 Thursdays @9pm:Episode 11

This episode was seriously annoying. I became so drenched in syrup and psychobabble that i may turn diabetic and start talking in tongues.

Guess what. I didn’t care. No, not one bit. It didn’t make me warm to Linden who has all the acting abilities of a stick thin giant praying mantis flailing around uselessly for a while. So frozen faced & inspection parade stiff as if sprayed with liquid nitrogen whilst in her pointy kneed i’m a smug jogger outfit.

Yes, her catatonic face remained, as always, impassively set in stone. Registering no emotion whatsoever. The most i found myself wondering during the scene when she supposedly painfully weeps (& i should have been deeply moved) was what a beautiful face she has, symmetrical and ancient all at once. A Mona Lisa with her stony frozen face. Like she is sitting for an eternal painting somewhere and told not to smile.

When examined, the whole overblown, over emotional and overwrought episode was based on the fact that:

Linden found out that her son had been skipping school. However:
He had still been coming home/Motel or phoning her on the dot of 3:15

On the day that Linden freaks out on finding out Jack has been skipping school she also discovers that he has left his mobile behind.

So instead of just cruising around a few places, phoning around his mates
(ok she does those things but only phones one mate and not his father as any worried single parent would, swallowing her pride, no matter how she felt about her ex)
and then waiting for his call at 3:15 she proceeds:

to major freak out
Reports him missing to the Police
Confesses her whole life story to Holder
Starts smoking again
Revisits an old playground that looks suspiciously like a lit up old oil drill spewing Hallmark remembrances about his childhood and singing their favourite song
( what child starts spontaneously dancing with his mother in public?!)
Then jumps to the conclusion he has been murdered, bursts onto a crime scene then sobs hysterically for about a minute & a half when she hears it’s not him.
A minute and a half later, all forgotten, back to normal.
(great, they decided to have a dead 13 year old boy in it purely for this stupid plot device, nice)
Oh, in the midst of all this, have time for a jolly chat and a chill at a cafe’
Then back to the Motel for an unspecified wait in the car in the rain
after checking the room once.
(not in the motel? or around the door or asking the receptionist?)
This seemingly having gone on all day & night since it’s dark even at the playground and that was hours ago?
Then at some point go into the Motel (presumably now in the dead of night)
To find Jack humming, head bobbing, to his earphones whilst, wait for it

standing outside the Motel room door!
So he doesn’t have a key then?!
how had he been managing with no key?!

Not only does The Remake have a default vein of sexism running through it:note the retort of Holder to Linden when she dares to raise her voice above and beyond her normal catatonia outside the casino!

it also has a thread of judgemental nastiness about single parents. The only feelings i get in connection with Linden is annoyance that everyone treats her status as a single parent as one step short of Goebbels.

Look, The Remake seems to be saying, look what can happen if you’re a single parent Detective, work long hours, get in a row with your overbearing nastily judgemental forever psychobabble spouting social worker who never left you alone. Your son might end up in a playground-finito.

Plus everyone & sundry gets to patronise Linden with portentous platitudes about her fitness to be a mother (or do her job). Since she happens to be single & you know “boys need their fathers”. Turning the screw a little once you have ‘fessed up about being in Foster care, to say, as Holder did well “Of course, you don’t know how to be a Momz”!

Yes, the Remake seems to imply, hard working single Momz are in the habit of just forgetting all about their kids! Look how on her own, without Regi, Linden loses Jack completely!

i don’t get why Linden wasn’t mad at Regi, who was, i thought, & more importantly, Linden thought, supposed to be looking after Jack when Linden was working?

Why, i wondered, didn’t Linden get mad at Regi for failing her instead of meekly accepting the abuse about her uselessness as a (single) mother from Regi? Faux mother Regi can always pull out the rug on Linden by claiming she is not related.

Yes, we are supposed to feel for Linden, Holder too. Poor damaged souls with no proper” Momz or Dads”. Like everyone with two parents lives in a Daltonesque paradise.

Holder, having stopped judging her as a useless single parent has sudden respect for Linden, calling her “boss”. Why? on the face of her
ridiculous performance, sad past, or supposedly displaying feelings?
Yep, the ridiculously unbelievable but oh so necessary


has begun…

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