The Killing remake episodes 12&13 Series 1 Silly Finale Comments that didn’t make it onto the Guardian forum

I wrote this to go on the Guardian forum of the Killing remake but it didn’t make it since it was closed. It was in response to a forum poster suggesting theme music and songs to go with the perpetual and torrential rain in the remake and for the closing scene..
( i made up some more things along the way..)

As Ann Peebles & Tina Turner
(who happen to live in the remake as do all the people mentioned here)
look outside they sing together;
“I can’t stand the rain, against my window, bringing back sweet memories”..
(of when it was sunny)
They see Jimmy Cliff across the way and he sings too:
Many rivers to cross, I can’t seem to find my way home”..

Orange Juice Jones is out and about and spots Linden & Holder and announces through song:
“I saw her and him, walking in the rain..”
Gene Kelly, being of an optimistic bent is twirling around lamp posts and splashing with glee in puddles galore singing:
“I’m singing in the rain, just singing in the rain, what a glorious feeling, I’m happy again”..

As the rain finally becomes a flood and then a river, sweeping through the streets of Seattle, small animals begin scurrying away, shrieking “eek!” “eek!” and the sea lion calls from his lake “oik! “oik!”
(he is the only sea lion left in the lake since Linden found his dear wife washed up dead on the beach and he has been mourning ever since)
and then
(finding speech for this emergency)
the sea lion calls out:
“Oi!” “over here, you might as well join me, worse things happen at sea!”
(plus he would like some company)
But sadly this is never to be as the now raging river is bound for the sea..

As things get really biblical, Holder and Linden are now doing a de Caprio and Winslett on the prow of the Titanic Remake as it ploughs through the river. Whilst Richmond, down below in the bar, beaming in white tuxedo and black bow tie, conducts a jazz band as the Titanic Remake falls over the edge of the Niagra falls..
(it’s geographic poetic license)

Richmond is finally happy as he will join his beloved in the underworld of his watery grave and he has converted the whole town to jazz on the way.

Linden & Holder’s boss, bad tempered and floating in a black sedan car with tinted windows can be heard shouting as he goes:
“I told you you had nothing concrete!”…

the sea lion looks on sadly from his lake “Oikkk, Oikkk!”..
(translated means)
“told you it would be bad at sea
Silly pathetic fallacy”!

and flops off down into the depths where no rain can get him…

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