11 August 2011 3:26PM
surely the question is would Linden have become friends with Regi if she did not meet her professionally? the answer is no
similarly:would Linden be able to break off the friendship now if she wanted to?
i think not
and would Linden be able to get away from Regi? hmm well she appears to be trying to, to California..
surely the first two point are why such relationships are a breach of trust no matter whether the professional person is retired. Linden did not chose this friendship and she was under age.
Linden seems like she had/has no other family. So she only had Regi-so she trusts her and relies on her from a vulnerable and innocent age. Regi, somehow, has become Linden’s world. That is wrong. If Regi was a good social worker she should have broken off this relationship, kindly but firmly..once Linden was an adult.
Encouraged her to make other arrangements and set her on her way, Linden may have met more/ other people like that. Regi is caring for a young boy and has no qualifications for childcare.
Sure, you would let your Grandma or Mum do this, but she is neither. And it is 24/7 with Linden’s hours, through the night and presumably school holidays too. No child minder would ever do that. Linden is hooked all right-on Regi. It puts both Regi and Linden in a bad position should anything go wrong with Jack whilst in Regi’s care. Unless Linden has signed her in officially as in locus parentis.
and yes, it is patronising and judgemental to tell Linden “you have that i can live alone look, it loses you friendships, makes you elusive” blah blah blah, she is still social workering her and would she say this to a man? of course not it is sexist.
Why is Linden not a good mother? because she is trying to work? does anyone think of saying that to a long hours working man Detective? (or criticise him for looking ‘independent?!) i think not-sexist again
Regi also dreadfully threatened Linden with “you don’t want to lose Jack again” and how it might mess Jack up “this transient life”. All this while Linden is trying to work. Note that Regi comes right into Linden’s work, a red flag to me, did even the Fiance’ do this? i think he stayed outside the door. This is aggressive proprietorial behaviour from Regi.
Then Regi sits down to belittle and demean and threaten her with stuff that happened in the past. So this happened in the past, it is obviously bad. Why keep nastily threatening Linden with it many years later? A dreadful thing to say to a single parent. How could Linden lose Jack again? isn’t wonderful Regi looking after him?on the strength of Linden’s long hours or him smoking?!
Regi does her down personally, (right down to her “look”) implies she will negatively affect her son by her way of life, then re-inforces her authority in these matters:
This is classic control/manipulation technique and Linden accepts it obediently. These are not mere “platitudes”. Linden accepts this because she sees Regi as a Mother figure. She has been ‘trained’ to-by Regi. This is not the positive encouraging talk of a friend:it is threatening highly demeaning talk-Regi saying it is bad that Linden looks independent!
Was Linden aware that Regi was becoming a mother figure to her, hence dependent emotionally upon her?
Was Regi, with her training as a Social Worker aware that she was becoming a Mother figure and that Linden was now dependent on her?
Should Regi:kindly and firmly, once
a)She was no longer Linden’s Social Worker
b)Once Linden was an adult
ended their Co-dependent relationship?
Yes, because it was a breach of trust. Whether she was still her social worker or not. Since the relationship began when she had a duty of care to her as a professional and Linden was under age.
Should Regi have completed her job as a social worker by releasing Linden from this relationship?
Regi leads an isolated life on a boat. By maintaining an inappropriate and too familiar relationship with Linden she has isolated her and Jack. Regi could have met up with Linden for Birthdays and Christmas etc!
This surely is the total antithesis of her job as a Social Worker-social being the operative word.
nb. This breach of trust echoes that of Bennet & Rosie, Bennet & Amber. Rosie and Amber were under age when he began inappropriate relationships with them. Whether Bennet slept with them then we do not know. I tend to think not with Rosie. Amber made such a point of the age issue i do wonder?
The point is, sex aside, falling in love is an extremely painful business for young girls.
This risk is not what parents of children want from Professionals in positions of trust and is why duty of care ethics exist. To breach it is an abuse of their power and position and is tantamount to child abuse. As a Social worker/teacher should know..
nb. If Regi was a man, and i think she might be gay, would you still see it as so benign?