New:Watching now or rather not really watching:Hawaii Five O the new one:Musings on Mawkishness in Dramas and Aural Candy Floss:Thursday 23 June 2011

The New Hawaii Five O is really rubbish. Beautiful to look at for sure. They committed near sacrilege by messing with the Intro. The extended prologue that these days can go on for a good twenty minutes. You know, when the opening credits are still popping up artfully yet oddly on the screen, getting on half an hour in. It does seem an strangely truncating thing to do to a Drama.

However Hawaii Five O is forgiven for still incorporating the original theme tune. Eventually. After the prerequisite soppy whiny Indie guitar music and if you’re really unlucky, singing. Since when was it decided as making any kind of sense to break into stringy backed plaintive singing in Dramas these days? To denote the extremely tiresome emotional and or meaningful moment.

An aural interference that hangs asynchronously in a spoken Drama. Didn’t know ghostly singing had any logical meaning in a Drama beyond actually being part of it like in a musical? It is annoying and meaningless.

Detracting rather than adding to any emotional resonance if i must use such words. Leave some gaps, not every small pause has to be filled in with useful activity for the viewer i propose.

When you watch something without this stuffing of candy floss into every available space it is a wonder to behold. Your ears and your brain get a rest. The imagination fills in the gaps and as Hitchcock said, that is where the real horror occurs. That’s why he always left that gap. It was up to us to imagine the worst..

Dear programme makers:
Stop forcing us figuratively to have emotions about it because it’s mostly mawkish maudlin mush anyway. If we feel it we will and no amount of unseen violins or ultra cool Cello or God awful whining to Indie guitar music will make it happen.

The reason i looked in upon Hawaii Five O tonight is because i read that Sean Coombs, P Diddy was going to be in it and he was really good. Anyway, i had to make sure Sean came out of it alright, phew he did.

Sean was an extra cool undercover agent on a mission of vengeance and evasion the usual thing. What do you know within the first five minutes they make the poor guy go topless already and force him into bed with his wife. They are far too happy. You know that this isn’t going to end well. Sure enough, Sean’s oh so beautiful and rightly rather worried abut his line of work wife gets blattted.

Still Sean makes it ok in spite of being shot several times. Until he puts a Vest on.
I checked in on the end and all was well plus the whole cast i mean the characters asked him the very same question i was thinking. Why not come and join Hawaii Five O Sean? They really need you as an actor.

You are more lively and cool than the rest of them put together. I swear they are really other worldly beings beamed in from the planet beautiful. Yet that’s all they do, be beautiful.

Of course Sean is beautiful too with shining cheekbones that go on forever. He does smart casual to a consummate tee. When Sean sits down on the sand there is a bit of a thud. He is a big guy. In his lovely white slacks, just as his family are getting popped. Literally small pops of silencer go off. Oh Dear, too late. Although his son is hiding in the eponymous cupboard…

Yes, please stay Sean, Hawaii Five O needs you.

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