New:Made in Chelsea Part Five: Story So Far:The Four Lusketeers& The Tale Of Agnes

sOMG-So Much To Write & So Little Time..
New Episode Tonight & the proverbial is going to hit the fan..
This is because someone is going to tell on the dastardly deeds of the devilish fencing duo Francis & Frederick

Francis Boules or it might be De Boules:
Francis being he main protagonist in this tale:The Four Lusketeers comprising Francis, Frederick, Hugo & Spencer.

Francis: do not be Swayed by his Babyish Face:

Previously described by me as a baby faced serial killer look alike. Fits the character type in reality shows of the baby-faced guy who cannot get or keep women. No matter how hard he tries and boy does Francis try. Rather endearingly he snakes and swishes through the suspiciously (in retrospect) empty pavements of night time London on a skateboard. For a date. Carrying a red rose in his teeth. He enters the restaurant, smoothly at first, his fair maiden waiting expectantly and then watching. Guess he hits a bump or something because he then falls flat on his face. All the time wearing, rather sweetly, a pair or red converse trainers.

The Lusketeers Gather to Plot over the Fair Maiden Agnes:
However this is not enough to redeem him from the charge of being seriously creepy in his attitude towards his intern the extremely beautiful and clever Agnes. Whom he seems to consider as some kind of prize pony that he now owns.
Already he has leered over her innocently posed photo with him on his mobile and shown it to Frederick the Viking look alike down at the pony club. Sorry, i mean the Polo Club.

The Devilish duo Francis & Frederick play Manly Polo:
Whilst they apparently impressively played polo, cue clip clop clip clop noises, The Ride Of the Valkeryies played in the background. Most amusing. Even more remarkable however was the sight of these horses walking in the background next to the guys. The horses appeared to be miniature, about the size of Shetland ponies. Maybe it’s me, but i found that hilarious..

Further dark plotting ensues: The two Lusketeers Spencer & Hugo are introduced:

Yes, Francis and Frederick discuss Agnes’s “assets” including exact height, hair colour & looks. Francis boasting of all these wonders like he has a brand new pedigree pony out back. Elsewhere, cut in with this scene we see Spencer and Hugo also lasciviously discussing:

” Francis’s “new intern” and her wonderful assets”.

Yeah right. Our suspicions are confirmed when Spencer chortles away like a dog greeting some new dog food and points and waves his racket around in the region of Hugo’s chest. Gosh. Hilarious. They seem to be about 12 and that’s an overestimation.

Murky Machinations Make Murky Assignations:

We then see Spencer and Hugo phone up Francis to ask him if he can “get Agnes to be Croupier” for a poker night. So they can all ogle her all night. This scheme is agreed and jointly or should i say quadruply we see two scenes inter cut showing the four men slavering away and chortling to each other at this delightful prospect.

Mise en scene:at the Poker Night:Fair Agnes is Outnumbered:

This scene arrives and we see beautiful clever and classy Agnes, sitting alone in a private room surrounded by these four men. Hugo, Spencer, Frederick and Francis. All sniggering to each other to the side like snarky schoolboys. That scene gave me the creeps somewhat. I started to get shades of that film with Jodie Foster
where she gets gang raped in the back room of a bar.

The Fair Maiden is alone: no Handmaidens in sight nor be there Knights:

Had Agnes known that there was no other women there, that it was a private room, just men with nobody else in sight? I reminded myself that this was a Drama and there were cameramen right there. Good. I wouldn’t put it past those guys. They all certainly seemed to treat & indeed talk about Agnes like she was some kind of Courtesan.

Epilogue:
This story has a happy ending since in the very latest episode nasty ego-maniacal Francis Boules who has actually boasted of his family’s pedigree:

“Going back to the French Knights and how i believe in Chivalry, somebody has to keep it alive”

finally gets his comeuppance for his dastardly and unconscionable behaviour toward fair and beuatiful and clever as clogs Agnes….

to be continued

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