Made In Chelsea VS. The Only Way Is Essex: Part Three sunday 12th June 2011 12:59am G.M.T:

The Only Way Is Essex
con/..from Part Two
The Only way is Essex cast do
deliver some stinging remarks, wry jokes and truly funny conversation sometimes.
Including The girls gossiping, any of them, particularly Lydia, Amy, Sam.

Chloe & Joey Essex
I hear these two characters will be missing from the new series. Shame because, individually they are very likeable but together they are truly hilarious. Both Joey Essex and Harry in The Only Way are dopes but Joey Essex is Mr. wooden top, tumble weed can just barely be heard , blown across the width of the expanse between his ears.

The curse of the very handsome ones and random others:
The curse of the very handsome it seems and those who appear otherwise normal and claim to have a degree in I.T. It’s only when you are left with them for any length of time, one on one, that you discover that they have no conversation. They are indeed, i, robot.

Joey Essex is a bit Thunderbirds are go. Thankfully Chloe his cousin, she of the curly lips and even curlier eyelashes who is a modern day Audrey Hepburn, dishes out wise and wordly advice. Chloe being the sage & oracle of The Only Way. She sits so ladylike in her tiny flat immaculately turned out and teaches Joey how to make spaghetti bolognaise. He has not a clue. It’s not clear how he has fed himself all these years.

One of my favourite scenes with Joey Essex and Chloe was when he is blowdrying his hair for a night out, pouting furiously away in the mirror, and Chloe asks him if he “blowdries his hair every day? ” Joey denies he is blowdrying his hair on the grounds that this “is a hairdrier and “they don’t use these in salons, they use blowdriers”. Then he appears to forget what he has just said, ponders for a while and looks blank, this happens a lot to Joey.

nb. in another funny scene these two go shopping together and Joey Essex admits to buying shoes too small for him “so they make me look taller”! Resisting Chloe’s sensible advice he hobbles away with her up the road, his feet squished painfully in his new sneakers, having gained a minimal few millimetres i would guess. Akin to having his feet bound.

However Joey Essex is hilarious and very sweet to boot. Like an overgrown 12 year old who loves to pout. Joey Essex is a bit wooden faced hence my name wooden top.

Made In Chelsea
Long hair in Made In Chelsea, or i should say Ollie, is Joey Essex’s counterpart Both are extremely beautiful. Ollie too is a bit stony faced, prone to pouting and is pathetically addicted to his eyelash curlers. He does his eyelashes first thing in the morning, call yourself a man or a mouse? or should i say a girl.

Longhaired man or Ollie in Made in Chelsea is a bit of a girl. Surely he’s a bit gay? or at least a wee bit ‘drag’? Seems decidedly not touch feely or in any way emotional even to his long suffering ‘seriously in love’ girlfriend, Gabby.

Gabby in Made In Chelsea’s lips
Gabby, like Chloe in The Only Way Is Essex has something extremely very odd going on with her lips. Could the latest thing in lips involve a bit of a ‘curl’?

nb. Longhaired eyelash curling Ollie in Made in Chelsea appears to live in a little woodcutter’s cottage in Chelsea with a wooden hot tub nearby. Didn’t know they had them there. Maybe it is actually just the hut attached to the hot tub on his estate? could be..we discover more details later

to be continued

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