The Only Way is Essex:Coming soon! A review of a Show Where Nobody Gets Murdered

Coming Soon, For Some Light Relief: i announce this section as being hereby named as:
Shows Where Nobody Gets Murdered! or SWNGM for short. Including:

The Only Way Is Essex
Mainly because i love it and nobody has written a review on it that i can see..

Possibly Gossip Girl although i am a little weary of it now, being as it went from so bad it’s good into really good & then dipped towards i think i’m so good i’m bad…

Hmmm, any other Drama shows where nobody gets murdered?let me think,hmmm

Spiral 3 Episodes 9&10 2nd May 6:48pm

  • 2 May 2011 6:48PM

    random musings:

    Gilou & Laure:
    Was it not all very Romeo & Juliet with Gilou & Laure in these episodes?
    They just stopped short of a double suicide..

    After an unconscionably long time spent by Gilou:
    looking ‘innocent’ & making “who, me?” faces at Belmont
    claiming “gastric flu” as an alibi for the day of the squat shooting(how original!)
    munching manfully on his dinner seemingly for ages in a bar..
    Gilou finally grows some cojones and decides to come clean to Belmont.

    However Laure has beat him to it, heroically & bravely annoucning to Belmont that she fired the shot in the squat. If not quite poison possible career suicide..
    Gilou is such a poussin! Not sure he would do a real Romeo..

    Feeling a bit mean saying Nounours is fairly useless as a character. It looked (to me) like he’d been lost all night in the streets of Paris after their chase, only turning up in the morning to the bar. However i have to admit that a stake out is quite hard to achieve on a motorbike and he may well have gone home for a kip and then come in to “take over” as Laure instructed him..

    In my mitigation i plead the fact that comedy has been attached to poor Nounours for me ever since the Calamity Jane type chase after Josephine when Nounours first appeared in his oh so tiny car with his giant Sightscope!(ok, camera but i goes nicely with The Crimescope)

    Laure & Josephine:
    I didn’t think that it was a real Hallmark moment between Laure & Josephine. Laure was certainly genuinely concerned about Pierre however her comment:
    “Your clients can always rely on you” to Josephine was definitely barbed.
    Likewise as Josephine finishes her side of this syrupy exchange she turns away, smirking nastily, yet somewhat triumphantly..

    Arnaud and the Mystery Girl:
    Was it just me or did anybody else think Arnaud coming back to his flat and finding a mysterious rain coat signified the return of the Mysterious Girl? I know, thinking about it it’s entirely daft as she didn’t know where he lived, but part of me still hoped briefly. The old “i came in nothing but a rain coat and i’m waiting for you in the bedroom trick”!

    Just a thought, but if you lived with one parent, and found a mysterious raincoat on the chair. (Well was it that mysterious to Arnaud, working with Roban as he did, surely he would know Roban’s Mac by sight?)

    Would you think:
    a) “Oh, some hanky panky going on here”, & tactfully tiptoe away-or
    b) Decide to open your parent’s bedroom door and have a good look?!

    More fuel to the fire of my theory of Aranud being in love with his Mum a leetle too much..

    Marianne& Roban:
    When Roban showed Marianne the incriminatory photos with his brother in them and explained his conundrum over the case:eg
    how to get the bad guys whilst leaving out his brother?

    I was secretly wishing and hoping that Marianne would come up with a brilliant Masterplan, a brainwave over which they would both chuckle conspiratorially, setting off to do daring deeds like an elderly Avengers! But no, Marianne just suggests Roban
    “should report Arnaud to his tutor and get him fired”-boring..

    More Dark/Hilarious dialogue:
    Niko &Stubble-man Tani (who hasn’t shaved for a very, very long time)

    Niko on the phone to Vlad (Vlad who unaccountably we can hear?)
    Vlad:”Did you get The Mexican?”
    Niko:”I think…”
    Vlad: (interrupting) “Since when did you ever think?”!

    Tani to Niko
    (Whilst waiting in the car, their stake-out to catch & kill Ronaldo)
    Tani:”Have we got him?”
    Niko:(looking chipper &cheerful)
    “Tell Belform to get the plastic sheeting ready”!
    ..
    But then Ronaldo toddles off distractedly after some very young& beautiful prey..
    The guys shrug this off as an annoying inconvenience..

    NB. dumbest move of the night:
    Ronaldo phoning Niko and asking for his help with his “papers” Oh and replying, when asked by Niko, that he is in Paris!

    Unclassifiable moment of dialogue:
    Roban to Laure when she gives him her information on the case:
    Roban:”I won’t kiss you but the sentiment’s there”!
    Roban gets away with this via his charming & ageless schoolboy grin..

Spiral 3 Episodes 9 & 10 1st May 2011 8:30pm

  • 1 May 2011 8:30PM

  • I too was wondering about the innocence of Patricia:
    She was in at the beginning, & she is everywhere’,especially at important moments..
    @ All:
    Was she really “selling underwear” or was it about coke? What was she arguing with Mila about and is it really likely Patricia would know so much about the operation and all the names of the men?

    Would seriously out for her own survival, Head Girl Mila, have so easily given up this information and Niko’s mobile number?
    note Patricia even knows the address of the secretive fenced compound/’hotel’..

    Also, why was Niko beating up the girl in the street-was it Mila? Because she didn’t make enough money? He seemed to be looking for something specific. Could this be related to Patricia’s argument with Mila at the hotel later?

    Just a thought-coke as a theme?:
    Niko does coke
    Gilou used to.
    Patricia does.
    What about the drug dealer who supplies Niko-is he separate from all this? The much mentioned tonight, Mr. Bo?,
    Is he supplying everybody or is it Pitbull, who we saw Patricia going to. Is there a link between any or all of them?

    Random thoughts:
    Note Arnaud kissing, a bit too lovingly i thought, his Mother’s hand..

    Ronaldo isn’t buying scalpels:
    I thought he was for a moment, not that it’s that easy, except for modelling. Does he really do all that with just a handy knife?
    He still looks kind of cute and little boy lost and his Mum IS dead. Ahh

    Why are the secondary female characters so damn soppy, doe eyed and slightly stary like they’re all on Valium?
    eg. Emilie, although she does give Roban a pep talk.
    Madame Courcelles: strangely disconnected in demeanour.

    Roban the meanie:
    Poor Mrs. Courcelles, visibly upset, telling Roban that her husband the Mayor is divorcing her over the letter “after fifteen years of marriage” gets not even a faux look or word of sympathy..

    Beautiful Spiral:
    The cris crossed bridges shot with the men (Martin & Co&Arnaud) showing on the bridge as silhouettes.
    .
    Another Cross reference to add to the other religious iconography?

Spiral 3 Episodes 9 & 10 1st May 2011

  • 1 May 2011 2:53PM

    so much wonderful dialogue and goings on to fit in here @ once so some jottings;.

    i also thought “ahh, Gilo is left behind, sad in the office..
    agree
    that Ronaldo trying to find his Mum’s grave is a bit sympathy making..ahh however it’s looking like he really IS the murderer

    amused that my jokes earlier about Ronaldo being sad because he was”footballless” have now been incorporated into his ‘code’ name.!

    most hilarious dialogue: the grey stygian kafkaesque office of the seriously unsmiling Juvenile squad man:where Pierre just keeps saying All the Wrong things!eg;

    “I needed to gain his trust”!
    “so he had a few beers, maybe four”!
    “things just happened naturally”!

    Wonderfully, (but not for Pierre) as often happens in officialdom, these are the comments unsmiling man dutifully types into his report..
    They lock Pierre Up! Preceding all this secret police stuff they announce:
    “We’re going to do a body search, we’ll get to the bottom of this”!

    nb. there was a few moments when i wondered whether Pierre really Had done it..surely Spiral playing with my doubts?

    The Chief Juvenile squad man also asks Pierre some pretty personal questions about his private, err, habits surely not usually to be found on forms? Law&Order’s Special Victims Unit was never like this!

    We find out from Patricia where the girls come from and how they are ‘trained’..
    Shock horror, Belmont grabs Patricia, apparently for the squat shooting? However he is just forcing Laure’s hand.

    Belmont, when asked by Laure how did he know about Patricia and appear so quickly?, admits that he has “a spy watching her squad”
    Laure in her rely to him uses the pronoun “She”?
    So who is this spy? and was i right with “she” & how does Laure know it’s a”she”?

    Machard has seemingly summarily taken over Pierre’s Case and is visibly gloating. Was it all a set-up from the beginning with Dylan? The new judge looks like a gay Goebbels..

    Noted this before over his earlier performance at the canal that Gilou is brilliant at undercover work. Ace how he stayed on the tube in case the girl they were following was faking getting off-she was.

    As someone said-their radios worked on the tube/underground!
    Nb. did she ‘clock’ Tintin following her and think he was a perve?

    Previously whilst waiting for the girl to ‘finish’ in the blue Scenic:
    Gilou”If it’s a BJ it will be 10 minutes”!
    Tin Tin”You would know, with you it would be 20″!
    Gilou”Only 6 minutes, that was quick”!

    Loved Laure properly getting her groove on with the case. Gilou&Laure together being excellent @ surveillance with her marshalling her troops and organising them all.

    Specially the following in the cars, how she instructed them to intermittently overtake each other, then split up and stay in single file etc.

    Sorry Nournous but your character is fairly useless! surely he would be more noticeable if around a lot in his black tinted helmet?

    Note, Laure&Co wait all night outside the bar and Nounours only just gets there in the morning?! Then Niko & Co, the toothpick chewing gang, come out..
    Then, Oh no, Laure tells Nounours to “take over”!..
    .
    NB. why did Laure unaccountably put her siren on earlier when supposedly following the girl Undercover?!

    More of Laure getting her groove on with the case:
    Successfully ‘glamming’ Belmont in true vampire style to somehow get him to:
    drop the case for lack of evidence
    Not prosecute Gilou
    Is this all because he fancies/really loves her like she seems to him?
    (well at the very least she fancies him)